Ways to Entertain a Six-Month-Old

Entertainments Generally Acceptable to the Infant:

(assuming proper safety measures are in place)

Eating

Cooking

Exercise

Exercise with funny sounds

Exercise with funny objects in hands

Exercise with funny baby in hands

Movement is good, mom!  Let’s move all the places all the time!!!!

Dishes

Vacuuming

Showers

Bathroom cleaning

Any cleaning

Killing bugs

Mozart concertos on the piano

Beethoven bagatelles on the piano

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star one handed on the piano with baby accompaniment

Anything on the piano if it takes less than thirty minutes

Singing

Singing hymns

Singing Puccini

Singing Patty Cake

Rosary (out loud on the floor)

Mass (out loud on the floor)

Anything that is loud and on the floor

Did I mention the floor?  People, just get on the floor!  Everybody, on the floor or I shall wail!

Entertainments Not Generally Acceptable to the Infant:

Research on computer

Writing on computer

Reading news on computer

Emailing on the computer

Facebook on the computer

Don’t even look at your magic black talkie hand-box, lady!

I would happily embraced the concept of Luddite baby who makes me a better person through denying my access to soul-sucking technologies (oh, such excellent genes this child has! look at him reactioneering all over the place—the floor; I mean the floor—returning things to the chaotic state of nature …).  Except there’s one more thing my baby won’t let me do, which puts a whole ’nother complexion on the matter, namelich:

READING A BOOK.

I think my baby wants me to be illiterate?  Solidarność?

Homeschooling is going to be so much fun.