Nobody Able to Die, IV

A bit of context for my remarks about suicide, holding on, letting go, pain vs. suffering, etc.

I was reading Jacques Phillippe recently (“Interior Freedom”) and he distinguished (I forget the precise words) between pain and suffering.  Pain is objective, the latter subjective; the former cannot be removed (except, perhaps, sometimes, by drugs) and is an indicator of injury.  Suffering, however, our perception of pain, admits of considerable variation, depending largely on how we happen to perceive it.

(Newman makes a similar point in talking about the sufferings of Christ, regarding the mind’s ability to attend or not to pain at any given moment.)

When I encountered the passage in Phillippe I felt a little shock of recognition, even though I hadn’t read it before.  It sounded very much like the distinction that natural birthing books make between, well, “pain” during labor and “suffering” during labor.

Things hurt differently depending on how you think about it.  “This is wrong” causes much more suffering than “This is life.”

I think I have some ground for saying that after having had three unmedicated deliveries (the first two by accident, and the third intentionally).  They were painful, but the attitude difference makes all the difference.

This is not, of course, a way of saying that people handle pain differently—whether they have an epidural or whether we’re talking about that poor New York City nurse—are weaker than me.  It’s simply to say that, whatever situation one happens to be in, if pain and suffering are involved, it is helpful to be able, personally, to discern the difference between the two.

But in order for suffering to reduce back to mere pain, there must be some purpose to it.  A baby.  Everlasting life.  The common good.  A spouse.  Parents.  A nice, handmade sweater.  A beautiful garden.  Victory on the sports field.

Keep your eyes on the prize, they used to say.

The problem is not pain, but needless pain.

If there is no obvious purpose for the pain, the Catholic idea of “offering things up” is most helpful here, if one happens to believe it.

“I Paul … now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up those things that are wanting of the sufferings of Christ, in my flesh, for his body, which is the church” (Colossians 1:24).